Compulsive Sexual Behaviour



The search for intimacy and connection can lead to an addiction to the pursuit of physical/mental sexual pleasure. As Outreach Beats Education Officer Greg Adkins observed in an interview:


GA: "Some people are so horny and desperate to have a connection that they will do anything to have sex, especially with someone who they find attractive. Sometimes sexually they even step over the line of physical attraction ... and this can indicate compulsive sexual behaviour. I'm so horny I just have to have sex!"

MAB: "Is it emotional release and tension release?"

GA: "Some tension release but also fitting into this 'norm' [of sexual activity] that they feel they have developed and that they have to fit into. Some younger guys say that they just have to have sex - they just feel like it."

MAB: "So every two days ..."

GA: "Or every two hours they have to get off. They have an inability to say no."

MAB: "How do you think this inability to say no is developed?"






GA: "Some of it is built around the notion of how you behave as a gay man, the 'norm' you adopt as a gay man, the peer-education you get. The stereotyping and role-models that are developed through the gay media and gay community."

Author: For example gay porn and multiple orgasms - the 'star' fucking and cumming in every scene and having multiple orgasms within the same scene one after the other.

GA: "They have this contradiction between this physical feeling [of living in the body in everday life] and a sexual feeling that is enlightening."

MAB: "So touching this other person."

GA: "They want this sexual intimacy - sucking of dick, holding - yet they don't want to be out of control and it's when they actually loose control of the situation, that's the problem, when unsafe sex can take place.
There is this fixation on anal sex as a definer for the identity of being a gay man. Unless you take a dick up the arse or put a dick up someone else's arse, or unless the majority of behaviour is around that, then this feeling of not fulfilling the role of being a gay man. A fixation on anal sex I think."

MAB: "A fixation on dick and dick size as well - seeing dicks and sucking lots of them, as much as they can get."

GA: "It's that compulsive behaviour again - young guys say to me at beats and saunas, "I need to be fucked or my arse will close over."

MAB: [laughs] "You hear that a lot?"

GA: "All the time and then they say they haven't been fucked for so long ..."

MAB: "How long is so long?"

GA: "A week, two weeks, 6 months ..."

MAB: "The sexual mythology of Western gay men insists on the need to masturbate or have sex as often as possible ..."

GA: "Yes, some gay men are compulsive about the need to have sex - I'm not actually having a full gay sex life unless I'm being fucked or doing the fucking."