Personally I have found that giving and receiving pleasure in sex relies as much on an understanding of the energies that flow within and between each of us as on the sex itself. By knowing how to use these energies in touching, holding and fucking to pleasure each other in new and exciting ways we begin to learn how to open ourselves up to other levels of feeling and consciousness. This is an area which gay men seem unwilling or unable to explore other than on a cursory level, the search for the same pleasures repeated over and over again. Based on my understanding of both 'Kundalini' and tantric practices I do believe that sex can become a deeper experience of shared knowledge between two partners.
As Michel Foucault has noted pleasure, especially pleasures of the flesh, have always been part of our culture but are limited to drinking, eating and fucking. He says that as gay men we must recreate our pleasures, not our desires, in different ways otherwise we will become the 'same' which will be really boring. I agree with him wholeheartedly. I hope gay men learn to explore different aspects of their Self more fully, not so much as an (s)ex-press action but as a fuller expression of their inner selves.